People of Pride: 5 Marylanders making a difference in the LGBTQIA+ community
by John-John Williams IV
Published June 14 in The Baltimore Banner
One hosts movie nights, karaoke and other events that provide a safe space for LGBTQIA+ people. Another has become a sounding board for customers at his gay bar dealing with pressures of the outside world. And a third beats the pavement to promote political awareness about LGBTQIA+ issues.
These are just some of the things five Baltimoreans The Baltimore Banner is profiling in honor of Baltimore Pride Month are doing in the fight for visibility, support and acceptance of their peers.
There are victories in the push for acceptance of this community. The first transgender woman, Bailey Anne Kennedy, recently won the title of Miss Maryland USA, while other notable people from the state — Christian Siriano, Isis King, and Bishme Cromartie — have made a name for themselves in fashion and acting.
But LGBTQIA+ people also continue to fight for basic rights.
Conservative groups want to remove their stories and experiences from history and literature. They have to worry about physical attacks and other bias-motivated acts from people who don’t agree with the way they live.
For the five who talked to The Banner, they say a sense of pride for their community inspires their work and actions.
A 46-year-old transgender woman from Baltimore who uses the pronouns she and her
Nicknamed “Honeycomb” by her gay house mother because of her love of the cereal, Bradford knows she’s one of the lucky ones in the transgender community.
More than one in four transgender people have lost a job due to bias, and more than three-fourths have experienced some form of workplace discrimination, according to the National Center for Transgender Equality. More than 4,600 transgender people, 94% of whom were trans woman or trans-feminine, have died since 2008, according Trans Murder Monitoring report, which tracks murders reported in the news media each year.
As retail manager in food and culinary services for Johns Hopkins Medicine, she now doesn’t have to hide being a trans woman. It wasn’t always that way. In 2003, early in her transition, she was fired from a job because she refused to put on a male uniform. Bradford eventually got a job at Johns Hopkins Bayview Hospital, where she worked for 17 years and ascended to a supervisory role. Two years after that, she was promoted to be the first Black transgender woman to have a role on a culinary management team where she supervises five supervisors and five restaurants with 360 employees.
Bradford has opened doors for other trans women — she’s hired several at her company — and has also shown other trans women that they do not have to rely on sex work, and the potential physical violence associated with it, as the only viable way to make a living. She’s also active in the gay ballroom scene, a competitive dance, fashion and beauty system that has been a way for that community to have a family-like support system. She was named a “legend” in 2016 because of her active involvement in that world.
How old were you when you came out? 18
What’s the one piece of advice you have for young LGBTQIA+ people? Love yourself unconditionally.
What is the biggest issue facing the LGBTQIA+ community? It’s acceptance in people living in their truth.
Have you ever been physically assaulted because you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? No
LGBTQIA+ figure you most respect? My gay mother Tamara King who has started her own trucking company from the ground up.
As a trans woman, what is the biggest obstacle you face in society? The biggest obstacle I had to overcome was letting society know that I have a place here and I am determined to be all I can be whether anyone likes it or not.
A 48-year-old pansexual from Hagerstown who has been in a gay relationship for 20 years and goes by the pronouns he and him.
As the head bartender of one of the nation’s oldest gay bars, he has seen it all — the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly. But he understands the importance of having a dedicated space for the LGBTQ community — particularly when mainstream society isn’t welcoming. That means being an unofficial therapist to many of his customers who are looking for a stiff drink to erase the sting of the outside world.
“I actually really enjoy it,” he said of being a sounding board for customers — many of whom are distrustful of the medical field after years of mistreatment and discrimination. “Generally, we all tend to have very similar problems and issues. That is comforting for me to hear.”
What age did you come out? I have actually never come out to anyone. I have been living with the same man for 20 years and my parents are not stupid. I have never felt the need to discuss my personal life with anyone.
What advice would you give to younger LGBTQIA+ people? They need to calm down. They need to stop looking for things to be mad about. They need to learn to love and try to get along.
What is the biggest issue facing the LGBTQIA+ community? Themselves. We are all people. We need to stop trying to prove ourselves to each other. We need to stop looking for excuses to be mad at someone and having microaggressions. We need to realize that life is hard for everyone — not just ourselves.
Have you ever been physically attacked because you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? I have been physically assaulted by a member of the community while at work. I was stabbed by a homosexual [last] Valentine’s Day. I believe he came in the bar looking for love, and when he didn’t find it, he unfortunately took it out on me.
What is the importance of having safe spaces for LGBTQIA+ people? People need a place they can feel like themselves. They need security in their life. And that doesn’t always need to be a bar. The community self-medicates hard and sometimes you just need someone to talk to.
A 42-year-old lesbian, political strategist and consultant who lives in Baltimore and goes by the pronouns she, her and hers.
After 20 years working for Baltimore City Schools as a district administrator and special education teacher, Paxton started to transition from the hustle and bustle of the classroom to the political world — in part to shape the “decision-making process within my own community.”
This year, as the political lead in Baltimore for Angela Alsobrooks, she was heavily involved in staffing, events, and connecting the Prince George’s County executive with important constituents in Charm City during the politician’s historic bid to be the state’s first Black woman senator.
In fact, Paxton introduced Alsobrooks to Baltimore Safe Haven, an advocacy group for trans women. She also worked to get Alsobrooks to participate in Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott’s Trans Day of Visibility event in April, and participate in this weekend’s Baltimore Pride Parade.
“I found a new passion, community organizing and political strategy to help educate and inform others about their local, state and federal elected officials,” she said.
How old were you when you came out? 16
What’s the one piece of advice you have for young LGBTQIA+ people? Be confident in who you are by taking the time to learn yourself. Stop caring about what people think and don’t let them define you.
What is the biggest issue facing the LGBTQIA+ community? Healthcare access
Have you ever been physically assaulted because you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? No, I have not been assaulted — thankfully.
LGBTQIA+ historical figure you most respect? Audre Lorde
Why is it important that the LGBTQIA+ community be politically informed and active? There are individuals working to oppress the existence and restrict the rights of LGBTQIA+ people on many of the issues that the communities face. Learning about important issues allows for sound decision-making that can determine a better quality of life so that we can enjoy living openly without discrimination and enjoy equal rights that others are able to daily.
A 38-year-old multifaceted entertainer, owner of Antoine Entertainment and co-owner of The Club Car Baltimore who lives in the Mount Vernon/Station North area of Baltimore who is gay and doesn’t care what pronoun people use.
The veteran drag queen who goes by the name Karmella has dedicated their life to providing a sense of community for LGBTQIA+ people. That means Antoine hosts a series of activities throughout the week so that LGBTQIA+ people have a place to go. Mondays are themed movie nights where takeout food is served at the bar Leon’s. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays are karaoke at Leon’s where Antoine also sings and DJs to go along with sassy commentary. And then Antoine is a part owner of The Club Car, a queer cocktail bar and performance venue in Station North, which has become a spot for LGBTQIA+ community members to perform cabaret.
The lively nights provide more than entertainment — they provide a sense of family for many in the community.
“It’s a way for us to connect outside of sex, or drunken stupors or whatever the case may be,” Antoine said. “That’s why hosting events even as simple as karaoke helps the community by providing a safe place and support system for individuals suffering from homelessness, depression, or just acceptance in general.”
How old were you when you came out? 15
What’s the one piece of advice you have for young LGBTQIA+ people? Know thy self and display it at all times, unapologetically; not rudely. Respect your elders and those who have come before you and guide you. Above all, know your LGBTQIA+ history.
What is the biggest issue facing the LGBTQIA+ community?
Just one? No, but all jokes aside I would say our current political and social climate is our biggest threat to everyone. Also, supporting each other as a community as a whole.
Have you ever been physically assaulted because you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Growing up gay in Harford County of course I was definitely a target in my younger years. But once high school started that stopped. Mainly, I think due in part to me being my unapologetic self. In my adult life I am mostly in queer friendly spaces, and I have been fortunate enough to not have any such encounter. However, when I am not in my safe spaces, I am aware there are still threats of hate and violence, so I am constantly staying aware and vigilant of my surroundings.
LGBTQIA+ historical figure you most respect?
I’m going to say Harvey Fierstein, Harvey Milk, Marcia P. Johnson, and RuPaul, Andre Charles just to name a few.
Why is it important that the LGBTQIA+ community has social activities and spaces open to them during holidays and other occasions usually spent with biological family?
I believe that we are one big queer family and as a person that is seen in this community, I think it is our duty to welcome fellowship during times that may or may not involve family.
A 33-year-old Black, queer, nonbinary, trans person who is a LGBTQ inclusion and nonprofit management consultant who lives Southeast Baltimore and goes by the pronouns they and them.
As the current interim executive director of Blaq Equity Baltimore, Lyles has been tasked with continuing the mission of carving out space for the Black LGBTQ community in Baltimore. Started in 2002, the organization has provided alternative representation in the often racially fractured and white-led LGBTQIA+ community. It’s tireless work — especially because the group is responsible for organizing the annual Black Pride programming, which occurs each fall. Lyles’ own journey to self-realization and acceptance has been a long, extensive one. And it’s still continuing.
How old were you when you came out?
I was probably around 16 or 17 when I first started publicly identifying as gay. My identifies have changed plenty since then, and since then I’ve come out multiple times, in multiple ways, as multiple things to multiple people.
Around 31 or 32, I came out again as a nonbinary transgender person. While there have definitely been difficulties navigating the world as a nonbinary person, coming out was not difficult. It was liberating, exciting and one of the best ways I’ve loved myself. While I hold identities that have been historically marginalized, I am also a privileged person in many ways. As someone who has never had their basic needs threatened, has always had access to health care, has always been able to find employment, and is still often read as a man, I have had pathways cleared for me that made building a more free life easier for me. Many of us occupy spaces of privilege and oppression at the same time.”
What’s the one piece of advice you have for young LGBTQIA+ people?
Never feel like who you are is a mistake, or should be something to hide. You are a part of a big family and long lineage of brilliant, strong people who understand you, love you and are willing to care for you. If you ever feel like you need us, we’re here. We’re never too far away.
What is the biggest issue facing the LGBTQIA+ community?
The systemic dehumanization and outright attack on transgender, nonbinary and gender-expansive people, especially working-class Black and brown trans people. Sadly, there are people within our community who harbor hate against trans people. Society’s limited views on gender harms us all.
Have you ever been physically assaulted because you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Perhaps maybe once or twice someone tried to physically intimidate me when I was younger, but there’s nothing that stands out. I am fortunate to have had a relatively mild experience growing up. For the most part, I was able to build a strong sense of self and build a strong community.
Who is the LGBTQIA+ historical figure you most respect?
Bayard Rustin comes to mind. He was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s trusted adviser and lead organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. His tremendous story is largely left out of our history books because he was gay. His sexuality was shielded and sidelined during a time where one couldn’t be openly and proudly both Black and gay. His story is inspiring to me.
You use the pronouns they/them. Why is it important that people use the proper pronouns to identify nonbinary folks and transgender individuals?
I think it’s important to use correct pronouns for all people, which includes transgender and nonbinary people. All of us desire to be treated with respect, and referred to as we see ourselves. Denying us to use our pronouns will not erase us. It’s a basic and harmless signal of respect for a fellow human. Additionally, I think every single one of us, trans or otherwise, should interrogate how gender stereotypes, norms and expectations influence how we build relationships with ourselves and each other. Gender is not solely an LGBTQ topic — it’s a topic that affects all us.
This story was republished with permission from The Baltimore Banner. Visit www.thebaltimorebanner.com for more.
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