It is April, it is a year ago, and a version of me is hovering in and out of a hollow sleep. It has been three weeks since my university canceled our MFA thesis show. Five weeks since my cohort was mostly shrugging off this possibility, even as classmates from China started wearing masks around our shared studio. Go back yet another week, and you’d find me cruising that hollow sleep again, panicking about finishing the silkscreen prints I have planned for my thesis show.
I don’t fully register when the anxieties of one reality morph into ten other kinds in this new reality, but April is where it is, in my head. I can probably trace it to the moment I order a bottle of melatonin online along with canned beans and hand cream. This might even be the same evening I finish clearing out my studio and force everything it once held into a complicated tetris-like situation in my closet at home.